Tess Barron
- Jun 4, 2023
- 6 min read

Part 1: The Levels of Show

Series Contents:

Why Show, Don't Tell Advice Might Be Holding You Back

We have all heard it a million times before...

Teachers and bloggers drone on and on about it. Editors like me plaster it over your manuscripts until you can no longer see the typed words on the page. And in your dreams, you run from serial killers wielding knives screaming, "Show me! Show me!"

But it's all bullsh—ok, ok, hear me out. There are a few reasons I believe that we (editors, other writers, bloggers, teachers, YouTubers, etc.) are doing new writers a disservice by telling them to "show, don't tell," at least in the way that it's popularly done.

Here's why:

Writers have heard it so often it has become meaningless. Passing through one ear and out the other.
"Teachers" (bloggers, fellow writers, infographics) are sometimes confused about what Show, don't Tell really means, and most of the time, know only as much (if that) as the writers they're trying to help.
Show, don't Tell is a blanket term that covers many writing issues.
It's a one-size-fits-all solution to the symptom of a problem but does not address the causes (note plural) of the problem.

If Show, don't Tell is so off the mark, then why are we still using it?

Simple. It's easy, it's direct, and it sounds good. I blame editors, to be honest. I have used the term so often that sometimes I just type it accidentally—It's such an ingrained habit.

Show, don't tell, show me, show, show, show (oops, there I go again).

But I am also the first to admit that I sometimes write it on manuscripts for the convenience of it rather than the effectiveness of the advice. And though they may not want to admit, your editor has too.

Show, Don't Tell doesn't exist. (At least not in the way you've been told)

Would you like that? Never worry about whether you are telling or showing ever again?

I know I would.

But no matter how often we have been told to "show, don't tell," we're still not doing it. Not every time we should. Sure, many writers nail it on the head, but those who do not greatly overpopulate those who do. Even the veterans commit tell mistakes...over and over, and over.

Mostly, it's because Showing a story instead of Telling it goes against our natural storytelling instincts. In fact, it is something that has only become popular in the last century since film and television made their debut. Read any classic novel, and you are lucky to find any "Show" (in the way modern advice would have you think of it). Not to say that these novels are bad...quite the opposite. And just because you Tell instead of Show does not mean that your story is inherently awful...

I have read some amazingly vivid and precise writing that modern-day advice would deem Telling, and I've seen examples of Showing from those same people that fail miserably.

So how come writers struggle with a simple technique that every writer knows? Why aren't we all Showing successfully in everything we write?

Because the advice is BS. Well-meaning? Sure. But well-meaning BS.

In the remainder of this series, I will break the problem down old school. And the first step is to destroy everything you have previously learned.

Tell me if any of this Show, don't Tell advice sounds familiar...

Use lots of dialogue. Dialogue is automatically Showing.
Describe using all the senses (touch, taste, sight, sound, smell).
Use unique descriptions and avoid weak descriptors (tall, quick, small, etc.).
Get rid of adjectives and adverbs.
Add metaphors and similes.
Be specific.
Beware stating emotions (he was mad, she screamed in sorrow, etc.).
Overdoing Show will destroy the pace of your story and make it tedious or wordy.

But what you are perhaps not aware of is how vague this advice is and how it should be applied differently in different contexts (if at all).

Dialogue does not always Show; it only acts to keep the reader in the immediate scene (scenes unfolding in real-time. We are experiencing them as they happen to the characters. Please do yourself a favor and pick up Stein on Writing , by Sol Stein, for more on this than I ever dare get into). Dialogue is Showing in a sense but not always in the way you'd hoped.

Unique descriptions/descriptors and a lack of adjectives and adverbs do not mean you are Showing or Telling.

Metaphors are great but can let you down; being specific can backfire and become droning. And you can never state a single emotion directly and still fail.

And the last piece of advice in the list above makes me cringe.

You CANNOT overdo Show. If your story has pacing issues or feels wordy, you're making a different mistake entirely. You are either...

Trying to explain every little thing that is not relevant to the plot,
You think Showing means giving a play-by-play of your character's movements,
You think describing clearer means describing more, or
You have been so focused on "Showing" (whatever you think that means) that you've forgotten about the pacing of your story or are being careless about how it reads.

Later we will cover how deliberate pacing is actually part of Showing...more on that in Part 7, though.

The standard advice can and will help, but it will never get you beyond a certain level of writing. For that, we need to start breaking down our writing on a more conscious level. And that is what we are going to do in this series.

What is the general-consensus meaning of Show, don't Tell?

"Show, don't tell is a technique often employed in various kinds of texts to enable the reader to experience the story through action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than through the author's exposition, summarization, and description. The goal is not to drown the reader in heavy-handed adjectives, but rather to allow readers to interpret significant details in the text."

Thank you, Wikipedia.

When your editor writes "Show!" on your manuscript, this is what they mean. You are telling us the emotion/description/etc. rather than using better words to show, or allow us to feel, the story.

So why do I take issue with this definition?

Because it is a symptom of the problem, not the cause of the problem. And this problem has MANY causes and just as many solutions. It is akin to every doctor in the old west prescribing laxatives for any ailment, regardless of what caused it. Or writing "evil in the bladder" under "cause of death" on a death certificate.

It's the editing band-aid we put on every problematic phrase that doesn't create a sufficient image for us. I'm as guilty of this as any other editor, yet I'm not surprised when the writer struggles to fix the problem.

But we just said something crucial: "Doesn't create a sufficient image."

So Show, don't Tell can really be boiled down to how to create an image.

I'm gonna repeat this because it's important. IMAGE.

Show is creating an image—an experience.

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However, we all know an image in fiction writing doesn't mean what it does when talking about eyesight.

Imagery covers all the senses—the physical, the emotional, the psychological, and even the spiritual. So only including the five physical senses in your descriptions won't cut it in creating a real Show experience.

How can we, as writers, create a story that manipulates the reader's experience on ALL the many levels I just stated?

We have to Show on many levels as well. Show has to happen on multiple levels of writing, and the individual choices you make on each one will dictate the options available to you in the next.

Showing doesn't start at the writing stage but involves decisions you make from the beginning that allow you to "build up" your Show.

Confused yet?

Simply put...

Show happens on many levels in your writing—starting with the most general and ending with the very detailed.

How to Build Show, Don't Tell is fiction writing graphic - The levels of show

And that is what we are going to go through in this series. I will break down what to do on each level, so you can fully understand what it really takes to Show and not Tell.

Next Steps

Here is what you can do for your novel right now:

Pull out your book outline, notes, rough draft, or completed manuscript (whatever you have) and begin reading.
1. If you haven't begun writing yet, start to imagine what your scenes, characters, and settings "look" like. Think of as many small details as you can. Don't just imagine in terms of sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste.
  1. What emotions do these details evoke?
  2. How does it affect you psychological, spiritually?
  3. If a detail doesn't hit on more than the physical level, maybe it might not be that important.
2. If you have begun your novel or have finished it, read through and ask yourself if you have effectively communicated the images in your head onto the paper.
  1. What passages have weak images?
  2. What passages evoke no emotional response from you? If it doesn't move you, why would it move a reader?
  3. Same as above, if a detail doesn't resonate on at least 2 of the physical, emotional, psychological and even sometimes spiritual levels, then it you probably have not made a sufficient image for your reader.
Lastly, If you have finished your manuscript and would like to work through these tasks, be warned that you will be doing a lot of rewriting. Show, don't tell is not something that can be edited in successfully after the fact. It is something that needs to be considered from the beginning or you must be willing to scrap a lot of what you have and start another draft.